How to know when you are in the presence of a 'Real Marine Gunny Sgt':

•    The Gunny doesn't sleep with a night light. The Gunny isn't afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of the Gunny.
•    The Gunny's tears can cure cancer.
•    The Gunny once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now simply called The Islands.
•    The Gunny has counted to infinity . . .  twice!
•    The Gunny frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.
•    Superman owns a pair of Gunny's pajamas.
•    The Gunny has never paid taxes. He just sends in a blank form and includes a picture of himself.
•    If the Gunny is late, then time had damn well better slow down.
•    The Gunny actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to  tell him.
•    The Gunny refers to himself in the fourth person.
•    The Gunny  can divide by zero.
•    If the  Gunny ever calls your house, be in!
•    The Gunny doesn't leave messages; he leaves warnings.
•    The Gunny can slam a revolving door.
•    The Gunny was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
•    When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he transforms into the Gunny.
•    When the Gunny exercises, the machine gets stronger.
•    Bullets dodge the Gunny.
•    The Gunny once took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. . . once.
•    The first lunar eclipse took place after the  Gunny challenged the sun to a staring contest. The sun blinked first.
•    The REAL Gunny never used a question mark in his entire life. He believes that the interrogative tense is a sign         of weakness.
•    REAL Gunny's think 2nd LT's should be seen and not heard, and never, ever be allowed to read books on                    leadership.
•    REAL  Gunny's  do not have any civilian clothes.
•    REAL  Gunny 's have SNCO Association Cards from their last 5 commands.
•    REAL  Gunny's do not remember any time they weren't Gunny's.
•    REAL  Gunny's  favorite national holiday is SNCO Initiation.
•    REAL Gunny's keep four sets of dress  uniforms in the closet in hopes they will come back.
•    REAL Gunny's favorite food is  SOS for breakfast.
•    REAL  Gunny's don't know how to tell civilian time.
•    REAL  Gunny's call each other "Gunny".
•    REAL  Gunny's do not get the mandatory flu shots.
•    REAL  GUNNY's can find the SNCO Club blindfolded and drunk.
•    REAL  Gunny's greatest fear is signing for property  items.
•    REAL  Gunny's dream in red, blue and gold, white, haze Gray and occasionally khaki.
•    REAL  Gunny's have served on ships that are now war memorials or tourist attractions.
•    REAL  Gunny's get tears in their eyes when John Wayne get killed in a movie.                                         
•    REAL  Gunny's do not order supplies, they swap for them.
•    REAL  Gunny's think excessive modesty is their only fault.
•    REAL Gunny's hate to write evaluations, except for their own.
•    REAL Gunny's turn in a 4 page brag sheet for their evaluation.
•    REAL Gunny's know that the black tar in their coffee cup makes the coffee taste better.
•    REAL Gunny's use the term 'Good Training' to describe any unpleasant task such as field daying a barracks or             having to sleep on your seabag in the parking lot because there was no room in the barracks.